1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:02,868 [clinking] 2 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:05,437 Ooh, ham and eggs! Thanks, Kate. 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,706 Oh, no. ALF, these are for everyone. 4 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:08,807 Oh. 5 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,443 [sneezes] 6 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,781 Actually, I'm in the mood for oatmeal. 7 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,250 I think I'll, uh, get somethin' at work. 8 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,753 I'm gonna have to change my shirt. 9 00:00:20,755 --> 00:00:21,720 [knock on door] 10 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,490 - Who is it? - 'It's me, Jake.' 11 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:25,991 Oh, come on in, Jake. 12 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:29,194 Joy. That's twice my appetite's been killed. 13 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,631 Hey, morning, Jake Kiboody. What brings you over? 14 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,501 Aunt Raquel and Uncle Trevor have been fightin' again. 15 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,102 What was it about this time? 16 00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,771 Allow me. 17 00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:42,441 Raquel thinks Trevor's a slob, that he doesn't appreciate her 18 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,110 and some other female paranoia nonsense. 19 00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:51,850 Hey, you crawl under people's houses, you hear things. 20 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:54,686 [theme music] 21 00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,452 Jake, would you like to join us for breakfast? 22 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,753 Whatcha havin'? 23 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,789 Green eggs and ham. 24 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,591 Pass. 25 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,860 [knock on door] 26 00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:10,429 (Trevor) 'Hey, Tanners, it's me!' 27 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:14,099 Oh, great. Pig outus interruptus. 28 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,735 Yeah. 29 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:19,204 Oh, come on in, Trevor. 30 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,841 - Oh, what's up? - Uh, nothing much. 31 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,743 And even if there was I'm not the kind of guy 32 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,278 that would burden you with my problems. 33 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,846 Raquel just threw me out. 34 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,415 Oh, Trevor, I'm sorry. 35 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:31,917 She called me a slob. 36 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,085 We know. 37 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,089 - Hey, I didn't tell 'em. - Who did? 38 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,493 Uh...I did. 39 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:46,231 Somehow she got the ridiculous idea 40 00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,700 that she doesn't love me anymore. 41 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:52,070 So, are you, uh, looking for a place to stay, Trevor? 42 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,640 Ow! 43 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,176 Uh, leg cramp. 44 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,446 I don't know where I'm gonna stay. 45 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:04,483 Do you know anybody that would kindly put me up for the night? 46 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,817 Well.. 47 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,219 Ow! 48 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,790 You can stay here, Trevor. 49 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:15,027 Oh, well, thanks. Heh, I-I'll be right back. 50 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,729 Come on, Jake. Help me pick my clothes off the lawn. 51 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,902 Oh, where does that freeloading sloth 52 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,405 get off crashing our party? 53 00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:27,773 I don't know, ALF. 54 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:30,275 Why don't you have a sloth-to-sloth talk with him? 55 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,949 I can't believe it, this makes two broken homes 56 00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:40,052 I've come from in one year. I'm a jinx. 57 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:43,789 Oh, it's not your fault. They've had fights before. 58 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:46,558 Why does Mr. Ochmonek have to stay here? 59 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,494 Yeah. Are there no work farms? 60 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,063 Are there no prisons? 61 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:55,067 ALF, try to be a little more sensitive. 62 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,969 I am sensitive. 63 00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:58,370 I'm sensitive to the fact 64 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,640 I'm looking at another stay in garage med. 65 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,110 Hide, ALF. He's coming back. 66 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,144 Oh! 67 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,248 I really appreciate this, Kate. 68 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,749 Oh, don't mention it. 69 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,684 And don't worry, I'm sure this will all blow over 70 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,953 in about a week or two. 71 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,823 Trevor, when you asked if we could put you up 72 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:21,760 for the night, we assumed you meant for the night. 73 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,996 That's another thing Raquel hates about me. 74 00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:25,864 I'm vague. 75 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,233 You can use Brian's room. He can double up with Lynn. 76 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:31,270 - No way! - I'll take that deal. 77 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:32,771 No way! 78 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,641 Hey, maybe you and Willie could sleep in Brian's room. 79 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:36,875 No way. 80 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:38,810 What a bummer! 81 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,045 Just don't snore. 82 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,714 It's like sleeping with a buzz saw. 83 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,416 I'll trade ya. 84 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,817 I'll sleep with the buzz saw 85 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,853 you sleep with the lawn mower. 86 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,728 [rock music on radio] 87 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,766 ¶ Take a step back ¶ 88 00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:06,071 ¶ ...move you nice and slow ¶ 89 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,807 ¶ Don't run and hide ¶ 90 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,075 ¶ Let it out ¶ 91 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,544 ¶ Shout it's the way to go.. ¶¶ 92 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,579 Good morning, Trevor! 93 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,148 Oh, hi, Kate. 94 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,316 Willie. 95 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,351 I hope my suburb blaster didn't wake you up. 96 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,521 No, no. 97 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,790 This was me and Raquel's favorite song. 98 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,659 Boy, that Sinatra could sing. 99 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,662 That sounds like Pink Floyd. 100 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,930 I know that, Willie. 101 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,865 I was making two separate comments. 102 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,236 Did you get enough to eat? 103 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:41,573 Actually no. All I could find was cereal. 104 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,974 When you guys have a midnight snack 105 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,810 you pull out all the stops. 106 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,145 Oh, you didn't do this? 107 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,014 I did. 108 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:52,684 I had a craving last night. 109 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,320 For green pepper? 110 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,789 They make me drowsy. 111 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,257 Well, I'd offer you a bowl of cereal 112 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,293 except I used the last of the milk. 113 00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,096 [sighs] I'll just.. 114 00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:07,232 ...go down to the store and get some. 115 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:10,769 Why do that? I'll just borrow some from Mrs. Byrd. 116 00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,038 Oh, there's no need to bother her, Trevor. 117 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,474 Ah, it's okay. She owes me. 118 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:18,310 I lent her your hedge clippers, and she never gave them back. 119 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,146 How inconsiderate. 120 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:29,521 I say we lock the door, throw away the key and move. 121 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:35,727 I assume that we have you to thank for this...mess. 122 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,664 Hey, it was time for my bimonthly feeding frenzy 123 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,567 except he interrupted me. 124 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,770 So this one doesn't count, okay? 125 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,773 It counts. Okay? 126 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:50,308 - Good morning. - 'Morning, Brian. Lynn.' 127 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,011 Feeding frenzy? 128 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,180 Yeah, but this one doesn't count. 129 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,314 It counts! 130 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,318 Brian, how come you're not dressed? 131 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,255 I was too tired. I didn't get any sleep. 132 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,090 [sighs] Yeah, we kept on hearing Mr. Ochmonek 133 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,892 moaning and groaning. 134 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:10,061 [imitating Trevor] Oh, how could Raquel do this to me? 135 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,463 Ooh. 136 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,965 Actually that was me. 137 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,768 You kept singing "Swing Low Sweet Chariot." 138 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,471 This is embarrassing. 139 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:23,074 Look, let's all just be patient. 140 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,976 It's only been one night. 141 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:29,314 Yeah, one night and we're already at each other's throats. 142 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,550 We're not at each other's throats. 143 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:32,951 Lean over. 144 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,921 Get back to the garage! 145 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,424 Well, who do I see to file a grievance? 146 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,093 I believe the alien task force's grievance committee. 147 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,162 I withdraw the question. 148 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,434 [instrumental music] 149 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,408 [whispers] ALF, what are you doing? Trevor will see you. 150 00:07:56,410 --> 00:08:00,245 Chill out. He's not here, Kate-le rustler. 151 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,781 He got a call saying there was a package for him 152 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,549 at the post office. 153 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,054 Could have been a crank call. 154 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:12,290 You called him, didn't you? 155 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,727 I had to get him out of here. Even for an hour! 156 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:19,931 Raquel's saying stuff like she's never gonna take him back. 157 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,868 How do you know what Raquel is saying? 158 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,002 You crawl under people's.. 159 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,937 (both) Houses, you hear things. 160 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,507 [doorbell rings] 161 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,709 - ALF. - What? 162 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,611 You know what. 163 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,479 Yeah, Willie, I know what 164 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:38,483 but if I have to do it, the least you could do is say it. 165 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,287 Go...to the kitchen. 166 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,656 Thank you. 167 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,625 Boy, have I got him trained. 168 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,128 [knock on door] 'Kate? Willie?' 169 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,499 Oh, Raquel, this is a pleasant surprise. 170 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,600 I hope this means that-- 171 00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,135 Yeah, don't get your hopes up, Willie. 172 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,603 This is more of Trevor's things. 173 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,272 - Jake? - 'Yo.' 174 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,109 Just drop it anywhere. 175 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,312 [sighs] 176 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:10,382 Oh, that moose head seems awfully final. 177 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,684 It is final. 178 00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,386 I saw Trevor sneaking out 179 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,288 of the widow Byrd's house this morning. 180 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:19,925 He couldn't even wait one day before he started slumming it. 181 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,526 T-that.. No. 182 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:25,630 He was, he was at the widow Byrd's to borrow milk. 183 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,732 Raquel, hi. What's going on? 184 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,334 Moose head. 185 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,337 Oh, no. 186 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:35,240 Raquel saw Trevor at Mrs. Byrd's. 187 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,242 It isn't enough that he's having a sordid affair 188 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,277 but he has to have it out in the open where anybody 189 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,547 with a decent pair of binoculars can see. 190 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:45,717 Raquel, he just went over there to borrow some milk. 191 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,420 Well, since you've obviously taken his side 192 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,521 you can keep him. 193 00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,690 Come on, Jake, you're the man of the house now. 194 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,659 Hey, does this mean I get to watch sports in my underwear? 195 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,436 Hey, why didn't you guys tell me we were having moose tonight? 196 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,538 I wouldn't have ruined my appetite. 197 00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,709 Oh, Lord! 198 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:15,246 Please tell us why you continue to place such ordinary people 199 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,683 in such extraordinary situations? 200 00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,318 [ALF burps] 201 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,622 Never mind. 202 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,361 [instrumental music] 203 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,298 Hello, Mr. Littwhack? 204 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,468 Uh, did you know that the Ochmoneks are splitsville? 205 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,371 Well, I care. 206 00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:42,140 Quick question. 207 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,609 Can you put Trevor up for a week? 208 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,446 How about a night? 209 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:51,483 Well, when is it scheduled to freeze over? 210 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,653 0 for 18. 211 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:02,894 (woman on phone) 'Hello?' 212 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,830 Is this Myrna Byrd? 213 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,532 [knock on door] 214 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,871 Thank you very much for humiliating me 215 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,173 in front of the entire neighborhood. 216 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,175 What do you mean, Raquel? 217 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,944 Calling everybody about Trevor and me. 218 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,813 Just because I occasionally make 219 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,348 other people's business my business 220 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,350 doesn't mean my business is any of their business. 221 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,520 So would you mind minding your own business? 222 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,255 Well, I certainly didn't tell anyone. 223 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,123 I know Kate wouldn't tell anyone. 224 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,658 You didn't tell anyone, did you, Kate? 225 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:34,993 Of course not. 226 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,561 Kate didn't tell anyone. 227 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,997 Well, somebody told the Metcalfs, the Polmanskis 228 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:42,200 the Montenegros, the Gans, the Lustacuffs, the Metgers 229 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,736 the Fetgers, the Schmitzkys, the Kipkys, the Feins 230 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,038 the Steins, the Limbecks, the Willards 231 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,606 the Logans, the Hogans and the Kogans. 232 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:52,043 So the next time that you want to drag somebody's dirty laundry 233 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,379 through the suburban mud, try your own. 234 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,980 Huh. 235 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,882 Or better yet, Mrs. Holbuts. 236 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,151 She just had a nose job, you know. 237 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,658 Slo-o-owly I turn. 238 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,465 I'm going to the garage now. 239 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:16,267 I'm gonna have a word with the town crier. 240 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,708 ¶ All my bags are packed ¶ 241 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,410 ¶ I'm ready to go ¶ 242 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:29,147 ¶ I'm staying in the garage no more ¶ 243 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:30,749 ¶ Da ta da ta.. ¶¶ 244 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,124 What? 245 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,927 Do these names ring a bell? 246 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:46,431 The Metcalfs, the Polmanskis, the Montenegros, the Gans 247 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,234 the Luskatuffs, the Metzgers, the Fetzgers, the Schmitkys 248 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,503 the Kipkys, the Feins, the Steins, the Limbecks 249 00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:54,606 the Willards, the Hogans, the Logans and the Kogans? 250 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,276 What was the question? 251 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:04,382 Before I pull every hair out of your neck 252 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,253 I wanna ask you something. 253 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,155 Did you call those people 254 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:13,024 and tell them about Trevor and Raquel? 255 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,492 I decline to answer on the grounds 256 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,661 that I need my neck hair. 257 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:20,732 Just mind your own business, ALF! 258 00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:23,301 In other words, you disapprove of what I've done? 259 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,838 Wholeheartedly. 260 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,341 I know that this is an inconvenience for all of us 261 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,611 but what you're doing is just making things worse. 262 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,348 You're right, Willie. 263 00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,718 How could I have been so blind? 264 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,055 You know, I've only been thinking of myself. 265 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,356 You're not just saying this 266 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,759 because of that neck hair business? 267 00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:49,828 No. No, I mean it. 268 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:55,233 I've seen the error of my ways and will endeavor to do better. 269 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:58,436 Well, thank you. 270 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,072 No. Thank you, Willie. 271 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,440 Thank you. 272 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,800 Hello. Uh, I'd like to order some flowers 273 00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:31,269 for Raquel Ochmonek. 274 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:36,441 I don't know, whatever Merlin Olsen would send. 275 00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:44,249 ¶ Swing low sweet chariot ¶ 276 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,884 ¶ Swing low ¶ 277 00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:46,918 Oh, ALF. 278 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,952 ¶ Sweet sweet ¶ 279 00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:48,987 ¶ Chariot chario.. ¶¶ 280 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,355 Uh, ALF. ALF? 281 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:56,327 Did you know that Shakespeare said once...that 282 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:59,030 "There's nothing either good or bad 283 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:02,634 but thinking makes it so." 284 00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:06,237 Shakespeare never slept on a cold cement slab. 285 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,007 - I know. - Well, he is now, but I-- 286 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,475 Drop it! 287 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:18,816 Willie, did you know that there are 9875 little dots 288 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,185 on this ceiling? 289 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:24,522 - You counted them? - No, I guessed. 290 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,524 (Trevor) 'Hey, Tanner, you in there?' 291 00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:29,360 Oh, yeah. Just a second. 292 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,032 I've had it, I've had it. I refuse to budge one inch. 293 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,434 [knock on door] 294 00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:41,306 (ALF) 'Oh! Aah!' 295 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,474 'I suppose you think you're clever.' 296 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,647 What's the idea sending these flowers to my wife? 297 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:53,217 - Oh, what's the matter, Trevor? - Don't play innocent with me. 298 00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,286 You thought by not sending a card 299 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,854 I wouldn't know who they were from. 300 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,823 Oh, wait a minute, if there was no card 301 00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,458 what makes you think they were from me? 302 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,026 I called the florist. 303 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,829 He said they were charged to your credit card! 304 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:09,033 Anybody who would spend 79.95 on another man's wife 305 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:12,704 plus tax and delivery is lookin' for trouble. 306 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:19,944 There must be.. 79.95. 307 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,380 Plus tax and delivery. 308 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,616 There must be some mistake. 309 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:29,520 Hey, Tanner, the only mistake I made was trusting you. 310 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,457 If I ever catch you near my wife again 311 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,559 I'm movin' out of your house. 312 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,804 Is there a chance that you heard any of that? 313 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,074 [laughs] Well, I've heard enough. 314 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,977 Does Kate know you have a thing for Raquel? 315 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,584 You sent those flowers, didn't you? 316 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,652 Hey, I took a shot. 317 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,054 It obviously didn't work 318 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,256 but I've got another plan that's foolproof. 319 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,492 Stay out of this! 320 00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,329 Entire! 321 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,564 I'm just going now. 322 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,234 Uh, I-I'm going to try and straighten things out 323 00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,602 with Trevor and when I come back 324 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,904 we'll be talking neck hair. 325 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,675 - Hi, ALF. - Hi. 326 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:28,146 We gotta find a way to get my aunt and uncle back together. 327 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,548 Too late, Jake. I can't help ya. 328 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,484 I promised Willie I'd stay out of it. 329 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,254 Fine, fine, j-just stand on the sidelines 330 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,256 and watch me be packed off 331 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,492 to live with another bunch of itinerant Ochmoneks 332 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:44,062 never to be heard from again. 333 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,064 Believe it or not, Aunt Raquel and Uncle Trevor 334 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,933 are the best of the lot. 335 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:52,003 Are you trying to con me into helping you? 336 00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:54,072 Is it workin'? 337 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,306 Sort of. 338 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:58,843 What will it take to put you over the top? 339 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,245 - Donuts. - What's your idea? 340 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,982 You come up with donuts, I'll come up with the idea. 341 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,050 That's the deal. 342 00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,153 [instrumental music] 343 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,458 Okay, now, what's the idea? 344 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,259 Give me another donut and I'll tell ya. 345 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,894 Tell me first. 346 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,197 What are we doin' in my aunt and uncle's bedroom? 347 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:24,469 We're looking for a key to their romantic past, if any. 348 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,604 Are you sure Raquel won't be back soon? 349 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,439 She went to the beauty parlor. 350 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,807 'Nuff said. 351 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,712 Hey, nice digs. 352 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:38,716 I never realized your aunt and uncle had so much class. 353 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,323 Hey, there might be somethin' romantic in here. 354 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,593 It's Aunt Raquel's jewelry box. 355 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:51,496 Aah! Turquoise alert! Turquoise alert! 356 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,097 - Put that away. - Okay, okay. 357 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,765 Just tell me what we're looking for. 358 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:57,201 I'll tell you when I've found it. 359 00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,037 I think I found it. 360 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,739 A wad of paper? 361 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,674 Yeah, yeah. This is it. 362 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:04,876 [door closes] 363 00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:06,844 (Raquel) 'Jake, are you home?' 364 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,514 It's Aunt Raquel. Look, you stay here, I'll get rid of her. 365 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:10,848 Fine. Leave the donuts. 366 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,417 Uh, maybe you better hide, just in case. 367 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,719 Gotcha. 368 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,054 (ALF) 'Oh, a piece of cheese.' 369 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,589 [mousetrap snaps] 370 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,191 Never mind. 371 00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,263 Aunt Raquel, what happened to you? 372 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:28,799 - I went to the beauty parlor. - I hope you didn't leave a tip. 373 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,271 Mrs. Byrd and I had a slight altercation. 374 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,907 That hussy was getting gussied up for my husband. 375 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,276 [scoffs] So got in a fight with her? 376 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,644 Ladies do not fight. 377 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,112 I simply suggested that 378 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:43,080 she keep her meat hooks off of my man. 379 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,715 And if the manicurist hadn't pulled me off her 380 00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,851 I might have gotten in a few more suggestions. 381 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,219 Uh, Aunt Raquel, where're you goin'? 382 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,487 Upstairs to rest. 383 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,688 (Jake) 'Hey, not on the bed though.' 384 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,456 (Raquel) 'Of course, on the bed.' 385 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,659 What, what is the matter with you? 386 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:58,095 Uh, nothin'. N-nothin'. I-I guess I'm just distraught. 387 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,798 Y-you know, about you and Uncle Trevor. 388 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,567 Huh! 389 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:05,336 I know it's painful, but we have to face the facts. 390 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,871 Trevor just does not understand me. 391 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,272 (Trevor) 'Raquel!' 392 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,407 Go away! 393 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,575 (Trevor) 'I'm comin' up.' 394 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,510 You see what I mean? 395 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,011 - Everybody down. - What? 396 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,180 The terrorist. Where's the terrorist? 397 00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,549 - What are you talking about? - Huh? 398 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,251 A concerned neighbor called 399 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,920 and said you were being held hostage by a terrorist. 400 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,192 Do you see a terrorist in here? 401 00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:32,563 Fine. Fine. Sue me for worryin' about ya. 402 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,831 So have a nice life. 403 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,132 (ALF) 'Yo.' 404 00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:37,568 Yo what? 405 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:42,106 U-uh, y-y-yo, yo this, I guess. 406 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,374 What is it? 407 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:46,277 It's a crumpled piece of paper with writing on it. 408 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,346 That's the poem that your Uncle Trevor wrote to me 409 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:51,082 last year when we renewed our wedding vows. 410 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,218 Oh, uh, uh, read it, Aunt Raquel. 411 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:59,890 "To Raquel, the most wonderful woman in the world. 412 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:04,562 "You're the meaning of my life. You're the inspiration. 413 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:08,499 "You bring meaning to my life. You're the inspiration. 414 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,301 "I wanna have you near me. 415 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,303 "I wanna have you hear me saying 416 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,805 'No one needs you more than I need you.'" 417 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,643 You threw that away? 418 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:22,313 Don't you know how long it took me to write that? 419 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:26,083 You didn't write that. It's from a song by Chicago. 420 00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:29,954 I mean, it took me a long time to write it down. 421 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,189 Do you think I'm stupid, Trevor? 422 00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:34,759 I knew you didn't write this poem. 423 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:37,862 Then why didn't you call me on it? 424 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,297 Because it didn't matter. 425 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:42,266 What mattered was is that you gave it to me. 426 00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:43,301 Raquel.. 427 00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:47,338 ...I meant every word I stole. 428 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:52,743 Well, I guess times have changed. 429 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:55,179 "Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?" 430 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,349 I'm sorry. 431 00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:03,654 I'm just tryin' to tell you that I still love you, Raquel. 432 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,259 More than arena football? 433 00:22:10,396 --> 00:22:12,897 Yeah. 434 00:22:12,899 --> 00:22:17,368 Oh, I should know better than to try to change you. 435 00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:22,106 Take me back, Raquel, hm? 436 00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:24,975 I-I promise I'll try not to be a slob. 437 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:30,047 Although in all fairness you did know I was raised in a barn. 438 00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:31,849 [laughs] 439 00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:36,220 Whoa! 440 00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:37,321 What was that? 441 00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:38,823 Ah! 442 00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,491 Leg cramp. 443 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:44,795 Uh, w-why don't we all go get Uncle Trevor's stuff? 444 00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:46,130 Good idea! 445 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:48,766 Raquel. 446 00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,401 I'll carry the moose head. 447 00:22:52,305 --> 00:22:54,105 Well, I missed you, Raquel. 448 00:22:54,107 --> 00:22:56,741 "You're A Hard Habit To Break." 449 00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:01,011 [instrumental music] 450 00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:05,983 Okay, you can come out now, ALF. 451 00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:09,787 Oh, oh, thanks. 452 00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,188 You're a lifesaver. 453 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,957 You're more than a lifesaver. 454 00:23:12,959 --> 00:23:14,992 You're a milk dud. 455 00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:18,262 How'd you know about that poem anyway? 456 00:23:18,264 --> 00:23:21,165 Well, Raquel was reading it to herself last night. 457 00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:25,002 You crawl under people's houses.. 458 00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,604 (both) You hear things. 459 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:27,938 Ah, ah. 460 00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:31,475 [instrumental music] 461 00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,979 [theme music] 462 00:24:00,506 --> 00:24:03,140 [ALF laughing]